Holding On When Marriage Gets Hard
Marriage is hard. That’s something no one really prepares you for. Especially when you walk into it with hope in your heart, dreams in your hands, and love you thought would last forever. But then life happens. Wounds happen. Words get sharp. Trust gets broken. And before you know it, you’re sitting in a room with the person you promised forever to, wondering how it all got this heavy.
Maybe no one sees it from the outside, but inside you’re barely holding on. The fights, the coldness, the pain that seems to recycle over and over again. You start to question if this is what God meant by marriage. If this is what you signed up for. If you’re just weak for wanting to walk away.
You’re not weak. You’re tired. And you’re not alone.
The Brokenness No One Talks About
Some marriages come with deep wounds. Sometimes that hurt started early on. Sometimes it grows over time. And sometimes, it never really goes away. It might look like emotional manipulation, verbal abuse, silence that cuts deeper than shouting, or cycles of harm that feel impossible to escape. These things don’t just hurt, they leave lasting marks on your soul.
And when it’s someone you love, someone you’ve built a life with, it cuts even deeper. You carry the weight of what it was supposed to be. You carry the ache of what it’s become.
What God Taught Me in the Dark
One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that God doesn’t ask us to ignore our pain. He invites us to come as we are, without pretending, without polishing it up, just fully honest and fully dependent on Him. I’ve gone to Him in tears more times than I can count. I’ve begged Him to change things. To change him. To change me.
And while I waited, I started to see that God was doing something I didn’t expect. He wasn’t just working on my marriage. He was working on my heart. Making me more like Him. Teaching me to stand. To speak truth. To set boundaries. To love without enabling. To pray with faith, even when I was exhausted.
What to Do When You Feel Like Giving Up
You’re allowed to be tired. You’re allowed to need help. And you’re allowed to set boundaries that protect your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. But before you walk away, bring it all to God.
There is no shame in being honest with Him. He sees it all anyway. The yelling. The silence. The nights you cry yourself to sleep. He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and He doesn’t turn away from your pain.
If you’re in a situation that is unsafe, please seek help. Forgiveness doesn’t mean staying in abuse. God does not call you to stay silent in suffering. He calls you to healing, to wholeness, and to truth.
Hope
Even in the ugliest moments, I’ve seen God move. Not always in big, dramatic ways. But in small moments that reminded me He hadn’t left. In little glimpses of hope. In prayers I didn’t expect to be answered.
Your story might not look like anyone else’s. Maybe you’re the only one fighting for your marriage right now. Maybe you’re clinging to faith while everything else feels like it’s falling apart. Just know that your prayers matter. Your tears matter. Your story isn’t over.
God sees the whole picture. He sees what you’re carrying. And He is not done with you yet.
If you’re walking through a hard season in your marriage, just know you are not alone. This post isn’t offering easy answers, just a hand to hold and a reminder that God is still in the middle of your story.
Lord, marriage feels heavy right now. I feel unseen, unheard, and honestly, so tired. You know every detail of what’s been said, what’s been done, and how deep it’s wounded me. I’m trying to hold on, but it feels like too much. Remind me that I don’t carry this alone. Heal the broken places in my heart. Give me wisdom, courage, and clarity. And if there’s still hope here, breathe life into what feels dead. Help me trust You with the pieces.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
