When Your Healing Doesn’t Look Like a Miracle

Not all healing feels like a breakthrough.

Sometimes it’s not some big, dramatic moment where everything gets better and your pain vanishes overnight. Sometimes healing looks like crying in the shower and still showing up. Sometimes it’s reading Scripture with a heavy heart and not even fully feeling it but refusing to let go. Sometimes it’s getting through the day without snapping at your kids or finally falling asleep without the weight of yesterday crushing you.

And sometimes, healing is just breathing.

I used to think healing meant being completely free from the pain. Like one day you just wake up and boom, no more anxiety, no more fear, no more sadness. I would come across testimonies on YouTube or podcast of people who were instantly healed from anxiety, depression, chronic pain, addiction and all other kinds of battles. They would say how they prayed and they never had another panic attack, or how their depression just completely lifted one day, and it would leave me staring at my own situation feeling defeated.

While I genuinely celebrated for them, there were days where I asked God, “Why haven’t You fixed this already?” I thought maybe I was doing something wrong. Maybe I wasn’t praying hard enough or believing strong enough. I even started thinking that maybe those testimonies weren’t true. I know, terrible Nancy. I wanted that kind of healing. The kind where it just disappears. No more struggle. No more fight. No more hurt. Just peace. But that’s not what mine looked like. And maybe yours doesn’t either.

I feel like there’s this pressure sometimes in the Christian circles to only share the after. The part where we’re healed, whole, strong, and walking in victory. But what about those of us still in the in-between. Still holding on to hope while the anxiety flares up again. Still trusting God while the depression creeps back in. Still showing up, still praying, even though we feel like we’re barely making it. Healing isn’t always instant.

It took me a while to realize that healing doesn’t always come the way we expect it to. Sometimes it’s a slow rebuild. Sometimes it’s daily. And sometimes…it’s not even just for you.

Let me explain.

In 2 Corinthians 12:8–9, Paul said, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” Paul begged for his suffering to be taken away, and God said no. Not because He was being cruel. But because He had a bigger purpose. And I think sometimes that’s the case for us too.

Sometimes the very thing we want gone is the thing God is using. Maybe your story, your pain, your process, is going to help someone else survive theirs.

Think about the woman with the issue of blood. She waited twelve years. Twelve years of pain, shame, being overlooked. But she kept hoping. She kept pressing in. And when her moment came, she didn’t miss it. She reached out and touched the hem of His robe (Luke 8:43–48). That story hits different when you’ve been waiting too.

We need to stop believing the lie that real healing only counts when it happens instantly. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

That verse has helped me because there have been times where I felt crushed, and healing felt far. But God? He was close. He always has been.

So maybe healing isn’t the absence of struggle. Maybe healing is the strength to get back up. The peace that slowly returns. The courage to talk about it. The choice to believe God is still good even when nothing has changed.

Isaiah 41:10 reminds us, “So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

If you’re still waiting, still wondering, still feeling like God forgot you, I need you to know, He hasn’t. Just because your healing isn’t loud or dramatic doesn’t mean it isn’t real. God is in the slow. He’s in the waiting. He sees every tear, every prayer, every moment you choose to keep going when giving up would be easier.

You’re not being punished. You’re not broken. You’re still healing. And that counts too.

And you know what? I had a moment recently where something just clicked. I thought, maybe this is why God hasn’t healed me yet. Maybe it’s because I can reach ears others can’t. Because I am them. I hurt too. I can relate. God is still working on me too. And this might just be what He’s called me to, to reach those who are hurting and feel broken, because I’m also hurting and feel broken.

So if that’s you, still in the middle of it, still trying to breathe through the hard, I want to say this with love and honesty…your story isn’t over. And it’s still a miracle in the making.

Jesus, I don’t always understand why I’m still battling this. Some days I’m so tired of fighting. But I trust You. Even if my healing is slow. Even if it doesn’t look like I pictured. I know You’re with me. I know You’re using this. And I know You won’t waste my pain. Strengthen me to keep going, even when I don’t see the breakthrough yet. Thank You for being my healer, even in the waiting. Amen.